The Beginner’s Guide to the FlyLady Cleaning System
If you've ever searched for the best cleaning routines, likely you came across someone who is raving about the FlyLady Cleaning System. The question is, does it really work for busy moms?
Being a mom is stressful! It's a job with no instruction manual, no pay, and no way to truly measure success-although we seem to have some crazy ideas of a "perfect mom". The FlyLady Cleaning System helps moms who feel lost or overwhelmed with their home and family to get things back in order and in balance. Yes, it is a cleaning routine but it is so much more!
I was raised by a brilliant, single, working mother and as much as our home was clean, I never learned how to balance it all. I was the opposite of my mom, I have ADHD. Because of this, having kids young and not being blessed with an organized mind, I always felt defective.
Like everyone else "got it" and I was a misfit which led to guilt that my beautiful children got "stuck" with me. Wow, it was a heavy weight!
Moms, no matter who you are, how naturally neat you are...houses get messy. Other people live there too so it is not all your fault! As a mom, we are tasked with finding and teaching ways to live comfortably. Wether you work outside of the home or stay at home, we all need help finding the keys to keeping it clean. FlyLady can help with that!
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What is the FlyLady Cleaning Method?
In the home cleaning world, the FlyLady is an icon that has stood the test of time. It is a cleaning system of small tasks that keep the house looking neat and clean when done consistently.
Marla Cilley is the FlyLady, a nickname she adapted because of her love of fly fishing. She has authored several books including Sink Reflections and Chaos to Clean which are available at most book sellers. You can also visit her website FlyLady.net but I warn you it can be overwhelming! (Which is ironic for a person literally writing a book about clearing the chaos!)
Why does the FlyLady System work?
The FlyLady system focuses on simple routines. That is the beauty of the whole thing. Marla Cilley walks you (very slowly I might add) through baby steps to create habits that add up to success. When many other cleaning systems say run and marathon clean, the FlyLady system is slower and more steady to win the race.
Another key point with FlyLady is to not focus on perfection. The idea that if I had this or my house looked like that, then I could keep it clean is a myth. The house did not start off a mess. When you moved in, you brought the stuff. I am guilty of all of this! I had to start digging myself out of MY mess to see the beauty underneath. It's like when you clean out your car and it looks new again, nice!
“Housework done imperfectly still blesses your family.”
That quote is powerful. While raising my kids, I would get upset when tasks were not done right. Think about that quote again. I wanted my daughter to vacuum so the lines were straight and it looked perfect but as long as it was clean did that matter? The FlyLady System has me seeing that it is done, so move on!
How do I Find Time to Clean with FlyLady?
This is the biggest problem for busy moms but you can't FIND the time, you MAKE the time. However, FlyLady breaks up the cleaning time into small doable pieces that you can arrange throughout your day.
What works for me probably will not work for a working mom since I recently got to quit my job due to extremely long commute time. I am now home but as all stay-at-home moms already know, time flies with all of the extra things that get tossed your way. It's always a struggle to find time but you can do it!
FlyLady has some basics that she adds in throughout the Baby Steps for your routines. Here is a sample of what is working for me but I often have to make changes to make it work. Do not get stuck in the length of the list because I have found that most steps in my routine take about 2-3 minutes even though my mind thinks it takes 15 min-I have timed myself!
I purchased FlyLady's Ultimate Bundle from FlyLady.net
My FlyLady Morning Routine:
Make Bed 2-3 min
Dress to Shoes (shower, make-up, hair, etc.)
Swish & Swipe (quick wipe down of bathroom with cleaning wipe) 2-3 min
Grab dirty clothes & start a load of laundry (on way to make coffee) 2-3 min
Empty Dishwasher (while waiting on coffee and toast to pop) 2-3 min
My FlyLady Afternoon Routine:
Flip Laundry to dryer 2-3 min
Prep for Dinner
My FlyLady Evening Routine:
Wipe Counters/Shine Sink/Load & Start Dishwasher 5 min
Prep for Tomorrow (layout errands/coupons/returns/lunches)
Tidy Hotspot 2 min
Room Rescue 2-3 min
Journal/Prayer Time
Before you go saying how this won't work for you and clicking away, it can! I legit worked 10 hr days with a 3 hr total commute. My morning routine was the same but I had to get up 10 min earlier which I hated but I did it. The bonus was that because I did this every day, I did not have a pile of laundry every weekend to anchor me at the house!
I had to get my family to flip the laundry when they got home from work/school since they were local. Either my hubby cooked or we eat late and had super easy meals. Occasionally I meal prepped which was AMAZING but since I hate cooking I would procrastinate that on the weekends. My evening routine was the same but let time to watch tv with the fam.
I did this routine for years as a working mom and out of the house from 5:45 am to 7:30 pm. I was a lot less stressed by my house and things ran smoother for the extra effort it took. Totally worth it!
How to get started with the FlyLady System?
So, you have decided to give the FlyLady Cleaning System a try. Now what? The FlyLady website recommends starting the 31 Baby Steps. Each day for a month you will add in a new task to your list to create routines.
Don't Run! Many of the steps are as simple as drinking your water or getting dressed.
The number 1 reason people fail with FlyLady is that they quit the FlyLady System during the Baby Step phase. "This takes too long." Remember it did not get dirty in 2 days and unless you hire a cleaning team it is unlikely to be fixed in 2 days. FlyLady is here to fix the problem--lack of routines to keep a house clean--not to just get the house clean.
However, I feel your pain. I got fed up and quit the first time too. Lived in my mess another year and decided I had had enough so I restarted it with a real understanding that I HAD to really do the thing. I've been Flying since!
Is the FlyLady Method the best?
Just search YouTube and you will find a ton of videos from people who love the FlyLady Cleaning System. Many have reported that it works exceptionally well for people with ADHD. I can attest that it is the only system that has worked for my ADHD brain but I have had others say that it is too rigid. The debate on which cleaning system is pretty fierce with two top contenders splitting the difference: FlyLady Cleaning System vs Clean Mama.
Both systems work to get your home clean. The big question is which system works best for YOU. I have tried them both and to be honest I think a combination of the two work the best for me. I needed the FlyLady system to teach me the routines and encourage me when I couldn't keep up. All of those amazing YouTubers became crucial to my success. I could put in my earbuds and listen to them while I was cooking or loading the dishwasher and it inspired me to keep with it.
Clean Mama is like my ideal house. Her website is completely Pinterest and Instagram-worthy! However, I am not sure that I will ever feel good enough when seeing perfection every time I watch her videos, see her posts, or visit her site. Plus she has a paywall for a lot of her content on the website and far fewer YouTubers are deep diving with Clean Mama so less motivation shows up in my playlist.
It's a struggle for me because I really want it but it makes me less happy with the home that I have because it isn't bright white and sparkly. I live in an 80's farmhouse...golden oak cabinets everywhere, kind of dark, and lots of dust and spiders from living in the country. Eventually, I will update things but I really felt frustrated that mine wasn't as pretty which is not good for me. FlyLady is a hot mess, but it's relatable.
Tips for success in Cleaning with the FlyLady System
BE CONSISTENT! Mess and dirt are cumulative. A few minutes each day works miracles to maintain a clean home.
Use a timer. For my ADHD brain, this is invaluable. I set the timer for 15 min and do whatever cleaning task is on my list for the day and then move on. Before FlyLady, I would get a project in mind-clean the bathroom and 2 hours later finish it because one thing lead to another and I got hyper-focused on perfection. Now, I can quickly do the maintenance and then move on to other things.
Download the free app FlyLadyPlus on the App Store. This little gem has all the lists at your fingertips so that you don't have to waste time skimming her website to figure out what to do today.
Invest in a planner! Once you start getting routines set, you will see the value in planning. When I am doing Errand Day, I grab my planner and get so much more done in one trip saving my weekends to relax with the family.
Create a cleaning caddy with all your go-to products and rags so you are not making laps around the house, getting tired, and wasting time.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Absolutely not! Everything you need is available for free on her website (with some searching). She sends a LOT of emails so beware!
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No and Yes...Unless you want personal coaching, FlyLady is free.
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The most common mistake is quitting too soon... honestly it takes about 3 months before you feel like you truly know what you are doing. FlyLady is a very robust system touching on routine cleaning, zone cleaning, menu planning, errand day, personal health, and life balance.
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Building good routines takes a few weeks. Many will miss a day here or there due to busy life and in the beginning its a good excuse to quit. FlyLady builds in a lot of EASY steps so that every day is not something complicated to learn. "Just start where you are" is something she writes in her book because we all slack at times. Read more here: https://todaywithterrik.com/flylady-baby-steps-for-2023/?preview_id=223&preview_nonce=f8dd5c0c99&preview=true&_thumbnail_id=258#!/
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Both are excellent cleaning routines. FlyLady is more dated with her content but it works and she has fans who have been teaching her system to their kids for 20 yrs and it is free. FlyLady sells cleaning tools and an old-school calendar but her system is available to all for free. She recommends signing up for motivational emails but it is not mandatory. She is active on YouTube but has strong opinions about religion that many disagree with. FlyLady feels like learning from your grandmother the tried and true ways that work.
Clean Mama is updated and pleasing to the eye but you have to sign up with your email to be able to download some of her lists. You have to join her club to get full access to her detailed lists, missions, recipes for natural cleaners, and swag. Both had daily, weekly, and monthly tasks. If you compare routines (after the beginner phase) they are virtually the same but in a different order. Because there is a paywall with Clean Mama, many people only get part of her system and it is not as robust. Think of her as the trendy mom you pay to coach you and makes you want all her pretty towels, bottles, and swag to be "that mom"--much more modern but the same basics.
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The FlyLady is Marla Cilley. She is located in the hills of North Carolina and wrote several books teaching women how to start daily routines that will fight clutter and chaos in their homes. Because she has been teaching these methods for over 20 years, she has developed a lot of fans and her own slang. She is called the FlyLady because prior to being a cleaning expert she was a fly fishing expert in a mostly male sport, thus she was "that fly fishing lady."
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Anyone who uses the FlyLady Cleaning System.
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Any spot in your home that accumulates clutter. Many people will have a place the mail and other papers get dropped or kids' school things get tossed. Those are Hot Spots and she recommends a 2 min tidy of the Hot Spots each day.
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There are several really great YouTubers who focus on teaching the FlyLady System other than Marla Cilley, the FlyLady.
Diane from Denmark the most notable longstanding FlyLady coach with spunk
The Secret Slob is a young mom from Canada who shows the mess
The Awkward Mom is new to FlyLady but adds a lot of humor to it
Today with Terri K is new to YouTube & passionate about making FlyLady work for you
Carry Grace quiet and soothing cleaning and planning
FlyLady Kat another OG FlyLady coach
The last thing you need to know about FlyLady
This system works but you have to actually do it consistently. There are a LOT of parts to it which is why it is so robust but can feel overwhelming. I strongly recommend downloading this free printable of the Baby Steps or searching her website at flylady.net to print it off and then stick with the steps. It's fine if you need to clean your usual routine as you add in the FlyLady steps but DO THE STEPS! Creating a routine that works for you is the secret sauce to having a clean home! For more information about routines and more on FlyLady, please feel free to check out this playlist:
In the fight for a peaceful and calm home, it is not the cleanliness that causes the most stress...it is the visual clutter. The fact that things are left out on counters, tables, floors is the first impression of your home. So, by finding little hacks to limit visual clutter, we can instantly make the house feel more tidy and peaceful.