'Cleaning Sucks' Taught Me 5 BIG Lessons
We all can agree that cleaning sucks but do we really need to read a book about it? YES! It was seriously so much more than a quirky book. Today I am sharing the 5 lessons that I learned from 'Cleaning Sucks' and why they matter.
1. Understand What Cleaning Means
Wherever you are, whatever stage of chaos and mess, 'Cleaning Sucks' urges us to get up and do something. Anything! This is not a new concept on cleaning but then I read a little deeper and 'Cleaning Sucks' actually gave a great visual that helped me accept my role in cleaning.
“Cleaning isn’t a one and done, it is an ebb and flow...”
It is frustrating to spend hours getting the house clean and then five minutes later the dishes are back in the sink and the bathroom is a disaster. This is the reality of living with kids, and even spouses.
Not sure about you, but I just want to either scream at everyone or throw my hands up in defeat! "It's no use!"
However, the visual that 'Cleaning Sucks' gives about an ebb and flow helps me understand things. Every day the tide goes out and every day it comes in..there is a simplicity and beauty to it. However, it brings back trash and debris that most never think about.
The true reality of cleaning...ebb and flow!
The family is the same! They leave, I clean, and they come home bringing the backpacks, mail, and dirty clothes to drop them all over my house. I can hate it, fight it, or I can accept that this is the nature of the tide and start setting up a system or routine to minimize the chaos. That is what most beach communities do. Every day someone goes out and rakes the beaches to collect the debris and smooth the sands so that visitors can enjoy it. As a mom, I see that this is my job...not to stop the inevitable mess but to manage it so that the house can be enjoyed. Ah ha moment!
2. 'Cleaning Sucks' asks What do you REALLY want from your space?
Are we deep diving and getting sappy about cleaning? Yes and no. 'Cleaning Sucks' spends time helping you clarify what you want and then how to achieve it. There is a very different type of cleaning when you want to entertain and what kind of entertaining that is. Casual get togethers with a few friends verses sophisticated dinner parties. One does not mandate the china gets polished and the other does. What do you REALL want from your space is a good question to set things up correctly.
Creatives may need open storage and a designated place to get wild with color or harness sounds. Introverts may want a space filled with soft, cozy vibes and good books. All will need a different kind of cleaning and demand a different amount of time to maintain.
How does your space make you feel now?
As you design your space to serve the right purpose, you also need to be aware of the vibe it is giving you now! 'Cleaning Sucks' is probably the only place that has touched on feelings about your home which kind of seems important.
I remarried and moved into my hubby's home a few years ago. Needless to say, it did not make me feel relaxed and at home. After years together it is still a work in progress. My bedroom is pretty relaxing. Yes, I'd like to redecorate someday but overall I am content with it. It is clean, tidy, and visual uncluttered.
However, when I walk into the garage it's another feeling completely. I instantly feel anxious, frustrated, and overwhelmed because of the disaster that is there. To make matters worse, the garage doors are broken so the whole world gets to see my nightmare!
Walk up to your house and pay attention to what your feelings are. How does the entry look? Are you proud or embarrassed by the first impression? What are some easy things that could change that?
Keep going...next room. How is it? Next room.
Really take a few minutes and take inventory of the way you feel and what you can easily do to change that. Caution: do not go down the rabbit hole here. Most of us cannot hire decorators or replace everything! If you feel overwhelmed when you walk in, what is the biggest reason? Too much stuff on the flat surfaces? No problem, let's just tidy things up and corral things into baskets or decorative containers so it is more simplified.
3. Deal with Obstacles
Sometimes we get stuck and can't clean for more emotional reasons. You don't have to be "a hoarder" to have emotional attachments or roadblocks to cleaning. The key is to come up with a detour for each of the roadblocks.
Cleaning Failure
Listen, everyone has tried to get on track only to get busy and forget about it. We are busy parents, we juggle a lot, and there are season that make new habits impossible to stick to. However, it is important to figure out what did not work for you and why so that you don't keep blaming yourself as not good enough.
“It doesn’t have to be perfect, just better!”
I personally tried the FlyLady System three times. Each time I failed for different reasons. Initially, I wanted to dive in and clean it all but never developed the habits. Life was too busy. The second time, I started slower and worked on the regular cleaning but again did not work on the daily routines to keep things going so the first time I got sick or behind and I was done again. The third time I took it slow and steady. I worked on learning the routines. It was working, until 2020 hit and working at the hospital tripled so the time at home was falling into bed. Not my fault but just a season. The last time I started I knew it had to start with good daily routines and then I added on things as I could. It took months before I felt it was really working but now cleaning is on autopilot more than ever.
The Reasons Millenials and Gen Z QUIT FlyLady
Cleaning Discouragement
It is ok to feel discouraged. If you have a big task, it is hard to see progress at first. One of my favorite quotes is "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."
When you make a plan be specific. "I want my house clean and organized" is too broad. It is not easy to track and ever highly organized people may never feel they have met this goal. Try to narrow things way, way down. "I want to get the kitchen table cleared off" is a much better goal. Only the items on the table are the problem. Once it is cleared off you get to celebrate a win too. This may take an hour, a day, a week but it is doable and cleaning the table is measurable. When it is clear, it is done.
This is why I am a huge fan of tracking progress. Every night before I go to sleep, I grab my daily control journal insert (in my shop if you want to start with something easy) and I jot down a few tasks I really want to try to tackle the next day and the basics of my daily routine. These are all simple tasks and checking them off shows my progress through the day.
I never write a ton of big tasks. To set myself up for success, I try to be realistic with my time and plans for the day.
On grocery and errand days, my home list is super light. On focused cleaning days, I add 3-4 goal tasks with the expectation to complete 2-3. If something happens unexpectedly, I do not get upset. I just move those tasks to the next day. Life happens and I am no longer trying to control life. I am trying to keep my house comfortable for my family.
Cleaning with Pain or Chronic Illness
Sometimes you don't get the option to jump up and get going. When you know that you are dealing with a physical or mental illness that frequently robs you of the ability to get up and deep clean, it is critical that you make a plan for those days. You can still make progress on your goals and dreams but it is all about a plan B.
Right now you should jot down a few tasks that you can do when the bad days happen. If you have fibromyalgia and can't get up and down easily, maybe use that day as a planning day. Plan your menu for the week, look for good deals on groceries online, pay bills, call and make appointments, call and check in on family. There is so many things that can be done on bad days.
“Focus on what’s done, not what’s not done. Progress doesn’t mean immediate results. It means slowly changing habits in a way that’s sustainable for you and your situation.”
I do want to stress that some days are super bad days. If you cannot open your eyes because of a migraine for example, then lay down and do what it takes to get over it. I am not judging you at all. I suffer from them as well. But, not all headache days keep me in bed. Some days I can keep the blinds shut and do some light work like folding laundry. Feel free to adjust to suite your own needs.
My point is make a plan B and that way you are not just giving up on a bad day. You are still managing your time and making it work for you and not the other way around.
4. Cleaning and Perfectionism
Like I mentioned before, 'Cleaning Sucks' stresses that it doesn't have to be perfect, just better! I never thought that I had a perfectionistic bone in my body..my mom would agree based on my teenage bedroom. However, 'Cleaning Sucks' has a great Perfectionism Test.
“Cleaning perfectionists often struggle with the fear of failure or making mistakes, which can lead to them feeling overwhelmed when busy schedules or health circumstances keep them from making their home spotless. It can also lead to procrastination and inactivity, because when they cannot do it all flawlessly, they are afraid to do anything at all.”
Perfectionism Test
Set a timer for 5 minutes and start to clean on a small task. I chose to work on the sink of dirty dishes. When the timer goes off, stop cleaning and walk away. Can you do it?
Sadly I could not. What I realized is that if I start the dishes I want to finish them and rinse the sink and wipe the counter quickly. However, if I don't think I have time to "do it right" then I will put it off. I am a Procrastinating Perfectionist. Kinda sad and kinda scary but it is the truth. I want things a certain way and prefer not to even start unless I can do it right.
The flip side of that is that I get high anxiety when things hit my clutter threshold-a term I learned from Dana K. White. This is the limit of mess that I can live with. Once that level is crossed, I can be moody and highly stressed until it is resolved.
How did you do on the Perfectionism Test?
5. How does 'Cleaning Sucks' recommend starting?
Rachel Hoffman writes to start with the task that is stressing you the most. If you are seeing dirty dishes everywhere that is driving you crazy, here are the steps they recommend:
Set a timer for 20 minutes
Work hard on the cleaning task you are most stressed about
Stop when timer goes off
Take a 10 minute break
Reevaluate the Cleaning Task-how do you feel? Is it finished? Do you want to do more?
Repeat as desired
Now you are ready to make progress and clean your space to the level and design that YOU want for yourself. Remember, it is YOUR home and YOUR routine so make things work for YOU!
In the fight for a peaceful and calm home, it is not the cleanliness that causes the most stress...it is the visual clutter. The fact that things are left out on counters, tables, floors is the first impression of your home. So, by finding little hacks to limit visual clutter, we can instantly make the house feel more tidy and peaceful.