Being the UNTRENDY, Real-Life Mom & How It Leads to REAL Happiness
My blog exists to serve the many, many Real-life Moms out there who are struggling to do it all. Finding the balance between work and home sounds simple but add in the demands of kids and laundry and the table turns over. It has taken me years to understand that I am not special--I am the average American woman who feels overwhelmed and under qualified to do this job called Mom.
"This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link. Please see my disclosure for more details."
Why do Real-life Mommas feel like a FAILURE?
The fact that my Instagram feed is packed full of spacious kitchens with custom cabinets full of organic food that is perfectly organized into color-coded bins and baskets only strengthens my view of being a failure. Everywhere you look someone is telling you and me to look perfect from the perky booty in the yoga ads (that make Moms look so much better than reality) to the never-ending posts that only show how much fun life can be. When? When does it get easy? Raising a family has been hard and most definitely work.
How to Survive and Thrive as a Real-life Mom
1. Finding YOUR Tribe as a Real-Life Mom
If you can ever get past the Insta-imposters and find the real people, you will start to see hope on the horizon. I love to find influencers who are just one step ahead of me. They are a little more organized but not perfect. Their workouts are starting to show results that I can relate to. Their homes show progress and not perfection. They are the real-life mommas that I want to be around.
They are your people who will support you and give you true inspiration. Real-life moms show you goals or examples that are within reach.
2. Set good daily routines that will impact your life in a positive way.
One of the scariest things I faced when divorcing was trying to figure out how I was going to be able to live but even more, how to afford to raise kids alone. Now I am happily remarried but I still use a planner to help keep up with finances, cleaning routines, mom life, and just about everything else. I also learned an easy cleaning routine that has helped me to reduce the clutter in my home and get things looking and feeling better
3. Start making changes at home that will reduce stress.
Learning the FlyLady Cleaning system completely transformed my outlook on cleaning. I was raised an only child of a single (neat) parent so I never learned to clean really. We just picked up after ourselves and nothing got messy. After having kids and then step-kids, I realize that not everyone has the same idea about cleaning. Our home gets messy! I mean, it's insane how much clutter sneaks in every single day and yet I am responsible to manage it all. Starting the FlyLady system helps real-life moms focus my energy on specific tasks every day while still getting the deep cleaning done that our house NEEDS!
The hardest step is deciding to do it for real. I started FlyLady years ago but didn't feel like cleaning when I got home or left the dishes out because I was "too busy". That just did not work and quickly FlyLady was forgotten. Now I am more determined (or just more in need) so I make it a priority. A few minutes every day, not walking away from dishes, and a load of laundry from start to finish every day all add up to a house I am far happier in. I am still busy but if I get sick and cannot clean for a day, it is ok because every other day I put my big girl pants on and face it instead of ignoring it until it piles up.
Now that I am fully taking control of my home, my family is more relaxed and less stressed in general. Dishes are always done, sink is always clean, and laundry is never piling up. If only I could learn to cook...
4. Real-life Moms Need to Learn to Relax and Embrace Self-care.
My Momma always told me to take care of myself because no one else would.
But I didn't listen!
I hated to slow down to wash the makeup off my face or even worse--moisturize! I planned on being the exception, the one natural beauty that was not vain. Ha, obviously I was sorely mistaken.
Real-life Mommas need sleep, pampering, laughter, and fun. Stop ignoring your needs to juggle everything else. We HAVE to plan downtime, include personal routines, and get away from the grind.
5. Encourage Mommas to be happy at this moment.
This blog is all about embracing this place, this moment.
In a snap, it will all be different. Kids will be older, work will still be work, and you may not have taken the time to enjoy this season. I poured in all of my energy into my job for years trying to be the best or make the most that I could "for my family". The job was never satisfied, it always wanted more which lead to complete burnout and exhaustion.
The family got used to me being late, out of touch, and too tired. This is not who I wanted to be but it was the reality of who I became. I sometimes wish my house was newer, bigger, or prettier but I remind myself to stop and look around at what I do have and love it. I have an amazing home, not pin-worthy but a place to raise a happy family and make memories. Do you want a life that looks pretty in pictures or a life that brings you a smile from memories?
Conclusion: Today with Terri K is a blog focusing on taking the time that we have to do the things that we want to bless the people that we love by using digital planning to get organized and cleaning routines to manage our home.